I am one of those humans who celebrate life often, but especially on birthdays.🥳
The 20’s provided me with a lot of lessons and becoming more of my authentic self, to prepare me for the 30’s. I find it therapeutic to reflect on mistakes, lessons, and reminding myself of what I have overcome, and how I have grown. The last decade I moved 1,500 miles away from my hometown. I started my own business. I was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer and beat it. And now have found myself in love, with a thriving business, and in alignment. Here is what I have learned along the way.
1. Enjoy the process. At some point you prayed for what you have now.
Check in with your younger self, and remember what they wanted to be when they grew up. Get in the practice of writing down your wins weekly, or daily. Often times we forget what we have accomplished, and get so caught up in, “what’s next?”
2. Become friendly with fear. Fear is a friend and teacher, not an enemy.
Society breeds fear of failure, at a young age. Fear shows up to keep us safe, in addition to giving us a blueprint where we may need to grow. Challenge yourself to lean into that fear. For example, if you are fearful of singing karaoke, start by singing at home and recording yourself, followed by performing at home for a loved one, and continue to challenge yourself a little more each time. Your future self thanks you.
3. You can truly have whatever you like.
The more we focus on what we want, the closer we are to having it. It is not so much as doing it perfect, but more so doing it consistently. Consistently work towards what you want.
4. Invest in yourself, yesterday.
Investing is very different from just spending money. Investing has ROI. Invest in your mental health, healing, your mind, education, physical health, and your life in some capacity.
5. Be present, stop running on auto-pilot.
I “woke up” when I was diagnosed with cancer, and became aware of all that I was taking for granted in my life and within myself. It is easy for us to get caught up in our jobs, or responsibilities, but we aren’t actively living. Work on unplugging, and actively participating in your life.
6. Be proud of yourself. You are worthy of it. Celebrate the small wins, and everything in between.
You are enough just as you are in this moment as you read this. No matter what mistakes you make, you are always worthy of love. Celebrate it all.
7. Not everyone in your circle wants to see you win, a lot thrive off your misfortune.
Throughout my life I have gotten the lesson of who was using me because of who I knew, or what I could offer them, and were not there because they genuinely cared about me. Pay attention to who is there when you lose, and who celebrates you when you win. If it’s crickets then, update your circle.
8. Don’t take advice from someone that isn’t in the arena with you. Let that shit go out with tomorrow’s trash.
People project their fears, judgment, and jealousy onto us. If they haven’t been where you are headed, don’t take it in as fact. In college, professors said private practice was not the way to go. I am my own boss, and the creator of my life, and living a life of abundance because I trusted myself.
9. Your journey is yours, it isn’t supposed to look like everyone else’s.
The more you stop trying to act like someone else, and show up as them, you will begin to feel more yourself, and be in flow. Each of us are unique and have different lessons to become more ourselves, and to level up for who we are becoming. I remember many nights sitting in my apartment when I moved away and feeling like I had made a mistake. I was broke, had no friends, and so lonely. I kept going and I am so grateful that I did.
10. REST. Take breaks. Often.
Repeat after me. I am worthy of resting, regardless of what I did or did not do today. Toxic hustle culture has us believing we aren’t worthy of resting and taking breaks. We must rest to be able to do all that we are here to do.
11. Boundaries, am I right?
Boundaries show us who has been taking advantage or manipulating us if they push back, in addition to teaching others how to love us in the way that feels best for us. Spend time learning how to set boundaries, and thank me later.
12. Morning rituals will save your life.
We are creatures of habit. It is important to set yourself up for success and do things that bring you joy. For me, I like to have a cup of coffee, watch a show, and pet my dog before engaging with the world. Expressing gratitude and intentions and having some movement will set the tone of your day.
13. Call your loved ones.
Slow down and check in with the people you love. Tomorrow is not promised and life is much shorter than we acknowledge on the day to day basis.
14. Let go of grind and hustle culture. Making money doesn’t have to be hard. You can be paid for your passions.
I grew up being told to work hard to make something of myself, and if it felt easy, I must not be working hard enough. Letting go of this ideal has allowed me to experience so much more joy in my life and abundance.
15. Remove can’t, and replace with “this isn’t a priority right now.”
Think about all the times that someone asks you to do something and you follow it with, “I can’t”. You can, but you either don’t want to, or you have prioritized other things before that. This is okay, but call it what it is and experience more relief and empowerment.
16. Allow yourself to be the dumbest person in the room, and learn.
I remember going to this dinner party in my early 20’s surrounded by multi-millionaires. Not to mention I was incredibly underdressed to further make me stick out. I sat back and listened, and answered when someone asked a question. I learned so much by observing and how important it is to believe in yourself and never give up no matter what anyone else says. No one can count you out if you don’t count yourself out.
17. Let go of those who don’t grow with you, and love them from a distance.
Ooof, this one is tough. We all grow at different times in our lives, and it is okay to love people from a distance and allow them to go on their own journey, or remain where they are. It is not our responsibility to help or heal anyone. We all must be ready to do so for ourselves.
18. The universe will give you want you want when you are ready. Trust the process, and let go.
We feel anxious and give up without realizing that God, the universe, or whatever you believe in will not deliver until we have learned what we need to learn. I feel we must breakdown before we breakthrough. Be patient with your journey.
19. Take care of your mental health, because it runs your world.
Your mind shapes your perception of your experiences. It is why some people don’t mind traffic, and others get so worked up. When our body begins to slow down our mind will be what keeps us alive and young. Take care of it.
20. Own your worth. Abundance mindset.
I have lowered my rates for clients or seen them completely free and been taken advantage of. I’ve overcommitted and said yes when I had to put myself last. I’ve let the imposter monsters win. The moment I stepped further into my power, the universe knew I was ready to receive more. I feel much more in alignment by taking up space.
21. Pay attention to who is there when you win and when you lose.
I have found that some people bond over misfortunes and remain there, but don’t show up when you start hitting your winning season. Misery loves company and some will want you to stay there with them, and give feedback about your life accordingly. Pay attention.
22. Do what YOU want, not what anyone else in your life tells you is best for you.
When I decided to move to Las Vegas a lot of people thought I was crazy for that, as though where I was wasn’t good enough for me. It was more so that I wanted to challenge myself and learn more about myself, and now I have a thriving business and am pursuing my passions.
23. Self love will attract everything you want in life. Internal validation > external validation.
Learning authentic self love will allow you to become whoever you want, and no longer depend on others to tell you that you are worthy and deserving.
24. Patience is a repeated lesson.
Let go of expectations and understand what is within your control, and outside of it. Be patient, stop comparing to others, and work on being more present.
25. We are our circle, so be picky.
If your circle hated doing something that you found real joy in, you may shy away from it. Or, if you wanted something different than your circle, or felt different, it is possible you may not feel supported or pursue it in the same way.
26. Gratitude allows you to receive more.
Having a daily gratitude practice will bring more and more abundance your way, and remind you how awesome you really are.
27. It’s okay to ask for help.
We are not supposed to do everything on our own. People will let us down, and that is part of the human experience. Success requires asking for help, and serving others.
28. Self care is a must.
Give yourself permission to put yourself first, in whatever way that needs to look or feel. Burn out has become far too common, and almost expected. We are not candles, mmk?
29. Do it for your younger self, and your future self.
Whatever that is for you, do it. Honor yourself.
30. Invest in learning all forms of communication, as it will increase your own satisfaction in life, because duh. You are investing in getting better at getting your needs met, and asking for what you want outta life.🤩
Cheers to the 30’s! ️🦋
